Ok I need to preface this post with a few data points to tie it all together.
#1 - Last year we bought a house in the Historic District of town. We needed a bigger place. This house had good character and strong construction.
It was owned by a fraternity for the last 40 years… and boy was it rough. (I got it for a song!) 3 stories, 10 bedrooms, full basement and a large yard on a street only 1 block long was a good setup for a family with smaller children.
Being a “Zack-of-all-trades” I like fixing things up.
#2 - a few weeks ago we had an earthquake, the early report tied the largest quake on record for the area.
So…
Monday night near midnight after taking care of my evening bathroom routine, and as my eldest son and I pass in the doorway, one of the toilets (there are two in this bathroom, {frat house}) made a strange gurgling/burping sound.
When Wesley came out he said “Dad, the toilet won’t flush.” Sigh, now about midnight i trudge in there and sure enough, full toilet. So in my alertness i flush the other toilet. bad move. water everywhere.
What’s a guy to do now? Plunger? right. I get busy and manage to get the water levels down, but the next flush fills it up again. More plunger. “Dad? What’s that smell?” Great. Both showers are filling up and the water isn’t clear, if you get my drift!
Here’s some advise: don’t plunge a shower… Ol’ Faithful comes to mind.
I remove toilet #1 and now the flange at the floor level is BELOW the level of “water” in the showers… boy THAT was smart. Now with water EVERYWHERE I realize I don’t have a pipe snake to clean out the pipe.
I was a MacGyver fan, and he would say coat hanger = pipe snake. It’s all clear that far in. Now 10-3 gauge wire with ground = pipe snake. All clear to about 3 feet. But it’s still plugged up.
Off to Wal-Mart for pipe snake, liquid plumber and a new wax ring.
Home again, 1:30am. Snake to about 10 feet and I hit something. It won’t break loose. In goes the liquid plumber stuff. 13 minutes later I hit it with the snake again. No go. More liquid plumber (more than half the big bottle) about 7 minutes later… SUCCESS!
Everything drains. I reasemble the toilet and flush several times on each toilet. I run the showers on HOT for about 15 minutes and clean them up. Mop up the mess and head for bed. 2:30am I’m out cold.
FAST FORWARD to 7:30am….
“DAD! The toilets won’t flush!” (sound of me crying). It seems I didn’t use any toilet paper in the toilets before my dance of champions.
We are now back to the full toilets and full showers and floor full of water and it is now “raining” in the first floor bathroom.
It’s time for drastic measures. I move to the basement and have the kids flush the toilets on the first and third floors. Now having identified the soil pipe for the 2nd floor, I proceed to beat the pipe elbow with a hammer until I smash a large-ish hole in it.
The house is full of cast iron pipe, and for those of you who don’t know it: cast iron pipes are right next to diamonds on the hardness scale. You just can’t cut the stuff.
Well the big hole is empty and so is the pipe. The blockage must be in the first-second floor section.
I’m now required to remove the sink and a section of wall in the first floor bathroom. Did I mention that it’s “raining” in this room?
With the wall open and the soil pipes exposed, I can tap on them and wouldn’t you know, one is hollow and our problem pipe sounds like a rock.
I break out a drill to drill a series of holes in the pipe. I’m thinking a 4×3 grid and then hammer should make a hand sized hole that could be fixed with a rubber sleeve.
After about 5 minutes of drilling hole #1 is made. Has anyone thought about the fact that there is 12 feet of “water and stuff” above this hole? I didn’t.
Picture in your mind a firehose attached to a septic tank. Lovely. I do manage to plug this up with my thumb while one of the girls gets me a bucket. I manage to drain it a half gallon at a time.
Pipe empty, 11 more holes and it hammer time. You get this:
I use a rubber glove, but the sharp edges make that pointless. Dig, dig, dig. I get the “stuff” out and feel something odd. At first I think it’s a plastic “tea cup” from one of the dolls. But, no… it feels like tin.
Very carefully I wiggle and pull, pull and wiggle and finally get the thing out. I’m stunned, shocked, I’m speechless (those of you who know me are amazed, I know). It’s a BEER CAN! and not just one of those 12oz ones it’s like 20oz or something!
I can’t believe it! (frat house) 
Guess what? it’s still not draining. I have the twins fetch me the hose and we try to “hydro-power” the blockage out.
No go. it will slowly drain but it’s not right.
I send my oldest daughter to the basement to watch the hole I made there. More hose power and no clearing. I grab the pipe snake and jam it in there. About a minute of jabbing later there is a big noise and the pipe drains!!!
I holler down to see if the “stuff” came out the hole.
I heard this very puzzled response waft up to me:
“Yes, it came out… but there’s a can stuck in the hole…”
What?!? “A can, there’s a can sticking out of the pipe…”
So there you have it. Pipe Surprise.
I suppose I shouldn’t have been shocked, 40 years as a Fraternity House.
This summer I’m fixing the fireplace… I just hope I don’t find a “Pledge” in there!
Go hug your kids and teach them about not putting cans in the can!
Zack
ps. We’ve been using this “main” bathroom for over a year. Clarissa thinks the quake dislodged the cans. Go figure.
